LOST MY INVITATION TO THE ROYAL WEDDING

Well, here it is 4:00am Friday 29th and no royal invitation. First off I can't belive I'm even up this early, then when I turned on the tv the wedding isn't until 6:00 - YOUR KIDDING ! ! Am I just suppose to close my eyes and go back to sleep, geez now I'm up for the whole day. I guess I'll get up shower, brush my teeth and get ready for the ceremony. I have tea and a muffin from Perkins that should do. I shopped on line for my hat and shoes which I intended to wear IF I got invited, but obviously it's a private affair, that mustta been the queen mother's idea. I suppose I'll get settled in for the event. I'm looking at the guest arriving and I'm not really impressed....wait.. is that David Beckem (good heavens). He really is to fine for that Posh thing, and that hat slapped on her head and black potatoe sack - lets get real. Now there is a chick with a royal blue 1/2 cresent moon propped on her head that looks alll.....right. Can you believe that Camille showed up (the gaul), Diane should be there NOT HER ! ! That woman should only be allowed out with a leash on and a scarlet letter on her chest - the nerve (Charles is no better) father or not ! ! I just saw a moose head hat, was that 'Fergie's' child - OMG!!!! What was she thinking or not thinking - I would of disowned them too. Me and tweetiebird queen could of hung out, did you see how she threw that lap cloth off in the car and then scooted out the door with her husband after the guard was standing there holding the door for her - she's a 85 year old mess - you gotta love it. Look at William how grown he's become and in that uniform - oh man its a shame he's loosing his hair so young (Rogaine), and Harry what can I say (nothing) - he's the frumpy one of the litter, cute but frumpy none the less. OH....here she comes, here she comes.... doesn't Cate look so classy in that flowing soft dress OMG I gotta have it, and the neckline and hint of beads and lace....aaaahhhh to only dream of such a gown. Did you see Harry nudge his brother that was a precious moment (one of my favorites) just like a mischiveous little brother (sniff) - these are Diana's little (big men) now, all grown up. I need a commerical break while these priest go on and on. I'm back, you gotta love the horse and carriage so regal if I do say so, I suppose the kiss will be next. How rehersed is that yuk, I need more spare of the moment grab and passionately immerse yourself into each others soul - let me stop. Did you see that 1/2 peck (oh please) and then another whole peck - GIVE ME A BREAK ! ! I wish them all the best and hope they blow the roof off the palace tonight. Can you believe William out cruisin' in that Ashton with his new bride- to be young and carefree - all the best. I really wish them all the best especially Cate, when she finally realizes when she wakes up tomorrow she is the next Queen of England (no turning back now). What an imprint to leave on the world, could you ever imagine in your wildest dreams. You are bonafied history book stuff now, how many of us can say that. I can say I was here to see the whole thing.......even the tripped horse. That might be my disguise to get in next time to Harry's wedding. I will dress up as a guard and trip the horse and jump on in his place ( well it's a thought - I could rock that black fur hat). Enjoy your tea and crumpets